(A science fiction short story by Max J. Pucher)
,Who am I?‘ I asked myself. ,Am I God?‘ I was involved in some process of creation but I assumed that a deity would know what it represented.
I watched as the perturbations of zero point energy followed my guiding thoughts. Maybe watching was not the right word, because it was not an effect that was visible to the naked eye. Actually at thirty-three digits behind the decimal point it was around 25 magnitudes smaller than the most powerful electron microscope could see things happening. But that would not be so for long. Soon the wave crests of emerging bosons would resonate together to interact with quarks and the tensors of the field would start to interact from their own restless existence. Right now the part of space I was imagining was like a primordial soup of energy on the loose, ready to jump into any form that felt good.
All it took was minute guiding nudges that were no more than fleeting thoughts. I let those float to existing material items and instantly I could feel the resonance shape the virgin segment of space. The summary effect of the field tensioning under the energy that was drawn into the materialization was very strong despite gravity being the most nimble of all forces.
The most amazing feeling was that of timelessness.
Only when a wave crest turned white with the spray of energy, then I could hear the clock of the universe tick as it swapped over and shed its probability potential by creating reality.
Otherwise it was still.
It was all there. The complete history of the universe and even the vast peaceful quiet before. I could even see the tiny ripple that represented the first clock tick of time that was called the Big Bang for a long time, because scientists lacked the imagination to see that the universe was perfectly balanced and the energy it consisted of was not introduced by a massive explosion. I could simply see that in each tiny segment of space all its energetic tensors always summed up to zero. That was the most powerful law of order and symmetry. No vast sweeping laws that had to be created, monitored and enforced by the powers of the creator, but each energy tick carried the singular divine law of nature in itself like Olympic torchbearers carried the light of the spirit.
I realized that there was now a new power of context in me that allowed me to interpret and understand what places like Olympia and even human beings working as scientists were. Knowledge came to me as I used it, but I was not able to think and search beyond my chain of thought.
My domain of space vortices of energy drew other structures closer and time started to pass as more and more symmetry swept across the whole universe that was still strangely confined to a Planck length. But it was vast and yet infinite as its field tensors shaped as Möbius loops curled back into their own unique universal existence.
The concepts of a human that recognized its own existence settled.
,What is space?‘ I asked. Each choice I had made had timelessly collapsed some wave energy potential and manifested the distance and time that created space. Not empty but an energetic structure that could be replicated and warped itself into an infinite number of universes that together summed up to zero. The universe was not huge but identical to the smallest building block of itself. When its energy vibration resonated it shed new universal elements. Thus it could endlessly expand without needing new energy.
,I am in the domain of space that I call mine.‘ This was an answer that I had given myself intuitively without explanation of proof. I only knew the concepts of ,me‘ and ,here‘ so that‘s where I had to be. I simply could not be someplace else that I did not know. The answer carried conviction but no plausible proof. I simply knew. That was a good feeling. A shudder ran through me. Feeling was connected with physical bodily existence. Forces suddenly swept over me and tore at my energy limbs.
My space was still emerging in shape and form. Material forms had copied contextual structure from neighboring ones for no other reason than that it was possible and somehow felt good. Rewarding energy flows were the consequence. Shape and structure created stability and repeated waves ran through my domain creating space and time. Matter and its inseparable mirror image twin brother gravity shaped in loops and knots of time-space structure. My domain filled with the opaque condition that called itself material existence. Like a flash I could see a special structure spread out its energetic tentacles. It looked complex in a very familiar way. It was shaped and formed in a strange knotted and coiled up form that gave stability. It vibrated in the most minute but so immensely pleasing ways, that material structures were drawn to it to join the sequence of events known as life.
,Am I alive?‘ That was clearly the next question and while the answer was an intuitive yes, it seemed as if life had usually a less broad definition.
,Who made those definitions?‘ I asked and they admitted that it just happened without much thought being given to it.
,Who are they?‘ I asked and I answered: ,We are alive.‘
So I was them and we created the context of understanding that made sense to our thinking. I looked around without having the means and therefore I could see it all. Means always have an end and therefore limit the possible context. Only actions that did not try to enforce certain results could utilize a universal power. The more goal focused actions were, the smaller and uncertain was the outcome. A perfectly pinpointed event did nothing. Once I had accepted natural consequence, my powers had become unlimited. I shaped my domain not by having a plan but by enjoying its ability to resonate. The emotional energy of joy triggered a perfect result. It seemed as if the joy about the perfection triggered it, which made no sense in normal causality, but in this timeless universe nothing else was there. Cause and effect are one, like matter and gravity, and each effect is thus a cause.
Endless layers of context had flashed into my domain and once I let go of all my questions the potential of a human being shaped from DNA emerged and settled. It was very familiar. I could the complex contextual information hidden in structures of junk DNA that simply made no sense by itself. It was information that was decoded by the player the emerged from its own DNA. Each DNA player was unique and encrypted with its own code. The domain itself and its resonances between the infinite number of universes was the encryption key. It was ultimately unique and secure.
I had been created from such DNA and I could see the moment of my DNA being spliced from the DNA strand of my parents in numerous replication bubbles along the strand. With relief I recognized the repair function that corrected the unavoidable replication errors due to the uncertainty that created universal order. I felt how the timeless forces of the planets and the stars interacted with the DNA and created an environment that made each person ultimately unique. DNA was just an idea, but the astrological context created unique individuals. I smiled to myself as I recognized that the skepticism that I had held against astrology all my life as a quantum physicists had been wrong …
A final wave of recognition swept over me that answered all my questions.
I was dying and through the timeless void I had been able to watch and shape the moment of my own birth. I had watched my own conscious self take shape as my inner and outer senses coevolved to become me. Now the circle closed and thus held no fear. I realized that my life of searching for answers and honors of scientific recognition had not been in vain. It never is. We all get to see the ultimate answer in our final moment.
Peace, fulfillment and happiness swept through my body as my energy dissipated into the endless orgasm of complete understanding that people wrongly call death.